Dear F Team,
Due to circumstances beyond my control, and to protect the reputations of the innocent, todays match report has to be divided into two parts !
For the Attention of :
Ali-G, Chris G, Colin T, David F, George L,Ken D, Lyle W,Mark E, Peter K, Phil S, Paul P, Walter M, John A, Oscar P and Buno.
ATTENTION ** ONLY READ THE BLUE TEXT **
The F team took to the field with a heavily depleted squad of only 8 players and 6 subs ! CSSA had brought in the Wardens of "D" Block and were the meanest, leanest opposition we have faced since HKHA records began.
At times it seemed they had all 16 players on the pitch such was the density of the opposition and stiffling midfield play. Totally against the run of play, the F Troop managed to force their way through and get a deserved lead through sheer grit and determination and outstanding, skillful play, deserving of a position in a far higher League. Only after desperate defending and the F Team players on their last breath, did we succumb to an equalising goal. Heads held high, we dragged out shattered bodies to the Bar for stories of heroics and never before told tales. A glorious draw at 1 - 1.
NOW, THOSE MENTIONED ABOVE, PLEASE CLOSE THIS EMAIL & PRESS "DELETE".
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For the FOLLOWING...Please read this slightly "edited version" of events too gruesome and demoralising to be inflicted on the unknowing F troop members above. Councelling services are being arranged and a support Group may well be organised should the Club find enough funds from donations so far pouring in ! Names have HAD TO BE WITHHELD for reasons of safety of the individuals concern, and prevent further emotional distress !
For the Attention of : Chris J, Jeroen T, David W, Tim H, J.P, Thorsten B, Dermot M, Ahbinav S, Tom Y, Anthony L, David G, Steve B and Bertie L.
The F Troop took the "Dirty Dozen up to the "Unlucky 14" and began against a depleted 9 man CSSA. ( which really only seemed to become appartent to half the F Team until told so at half time ! ). Certainly chances came and went and the full force of Tom, the WMD and Dermot came to bear on the oppositions goal, but it just wasn't going to go in. The 2 man advantage we had just didn't materialise into possession or being able to easily outplay a slow and very ordinary team. Finally a great cross into the "D" from Chris did result in a trademark 'flick' from Tom that skimmed over the bar. That could have beeen the start of an avalanche of goals, but it seems Global warming takes its toll in many ways and forms these days and they near dried up entirely from then on. Luckily, not to much later, Tom moved into the "D", removed a defenders stick, waited for the whistle, which did not come, and then proceeded to blast a shot past the GK from a narrow angle for a desperately needed 1 - 0 scoreline. We had possession but none of the ball, we had shots but no ( more ) goals, we had the superiority of numbers yet were underwhelming in performance and endeavours. We just never got it together.
A "Unhappy Chappie" talk at half time gave us the lowdown that we were playing like a bunch of girls blouses, and we had to get our F***** act together and play HOCKEY ! Simpe passing, possession, and so on. That done, we took to the field and proceeded to carry that out for about a full 90% of the first 2 minutes of the 2nd half, and then imploded ! We gave away almost every possession we had, gave the ball to CSSA at almost every moment when five easy passes were possible, and just didn't get the time in the "D" that should have been possible. Then, CSSA went and scored for a 1 - 1 scoreline, and panic set in. A shortened half of what seemed to be only 25 minutes in the second half came to and end with two F Team short corners not being converted, and we'd had at least5 or 6 before then, and the whistle blowing to the resounding cheers of the CSSA team. Heads bowed the F Team trooped off. From a week earlier when we'd played our hearts out vs the E and been brilliant and committed, we had perhaps the worst game ever. Some were of course better than others, but it was a team effort, ( or complete lack of it ) and as such, very poor against a side we should have beaten by 2, 3, 5, 6 or more goals easily.
I have tendered my immediate resignation as F Team Captain having to take full responsibility !
Unfortunately the even worse news is I have had to immediately re-instate myself due to no-one else wanting the job ! Raffa Benitez and Mark Hughes were offered but thought they still had better teams on hand, or offers to consider.
And so it goes.
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SCORE : 1 - 1
GOALS : Tom Young 1
MVP : Thorsten Boettcher
Words may not be much comfort now, but one well remembered recent phrase that comes to mind, that "may" ease the pain, is " There are things more important than hockey ". Chins up, best foot forward. We shall fight them on the beaches once more, and Win again. Impossible as that dream may seem this dark day.
This coming Sunday is THE GAME to bounce back and put the horrific memories behind us. The "E" Team return game. Same time / same venue, lets NOT make it a repeat of yesterdays effort !!
See you then. Email to follow.
